An Ideal Muslim Husband

Marriage is a legal matrimonial contract between two people in Islam. Marriage a religious duty upon every Muslim male and female. In Islam, a husband is supposed to protect his wife like his daughter and respect her as his mother. The obligation of an ideal Muslim husband does not just stop at providing for the family. 
 
 
قَدْ سَمِعَ اللَّهُ قَوْلَ الَّتِي تُجَادِلُكَ فِي زَوْجِهَا وَتَشْتَكِي إِلَى اللَّهِ وَاللَّهُ يَسْمَعُ تَحَاوُرَكُمَا إِنَّ اللَّهَ سَمِيعٌ بَصِيرٌ
 
 
“Indeed, Allah has heard (the) speech (of one) who disputes with you concerning her husband and she directs her complaint to Allah. And Allah hears (the) dialogue of both of you. Indeed, Allah (is) All-Hearer, All-Seer.” (Surah Al-Mujadilah 58:1)
 
 
An ideal husband is supposed to be a brother, a protector, a friend, a lover, a confidant and a soul mate. How to be a good husband in Islam is something that every Muslim man should learn before entering into wedlock. Allah(SWT) says:
 
 
وَإِن يَتَفَرَّقَا يُغْنِ اللَّهُ كُلًّا مِّن سَعَتِهِ وَكَانَ اللَّهُ وَاسِعًا حَكِيمًا
 
 
“And if they separate, Allah will enrich each (of them) from His abundance, and Allah is All-Encompassing, All-Wise.” (Surah An-Nisa` 4:130)
 
Here are some ways to be a great husband:
  1. Be kind to your wife. Do something nice for her as often as it is possible. It might be just some little thing. Little things mean can go a long way and mean a lot to your wife.
  2. Refresh your relationship by saying that you love each other. These three words mean a world to your wife.
  3. A happy marriage is based on devotion, friendship, mutual respect and self-development.
  4. According to Sharia, only men are allowed to say the word “talaq”. However, you should not abuse it. Divorce only if your relationship runs its course and it is not possible to live together any longer. Remember that divorce is the most detested thing out of permissible matters by Allah.
  5. Quality family time with your wife should be a priority for you. Your wife and your children love to spend their time with you. They will be very grateful if you spend as much time as possible with them.
  6. Do not go to bed if you hurt each other’s feelings. Do your best to resolve the problem in the best way you can. Never apologise dubiously. For example, it is not that nice to say: “I am sorry, but to the greatest extent, it is your fault.” Be sincere when you forgive or ask for forgiveness. Forget things and forgive your wife even if you think it was her fault.
  7. Do not let your wife feel unimportant and flawed. Treat her in the best way possible. Do not neglect her interests and desires.
  8. Be more careful and make sure you notice a new dress she puts on or a meal she cooks for the first time. Pay her compliments and be grateful to her.
  9. Do your best to help your wife about the house. Do not overload her with the housework if she is disappointed with something.
  10. Give her some presents for no reason. Do not wait for special occasions. It does not matter whether your gift is expensive or not. It is about the attention you paid to your wife.
  11. Some husbands tend to blame their wives for their relatives’ misbehaviour. This is not fair and can lead to a split in a family.
  12. You are very kind to your friends, colleagues and turn fire hoses on your wife and children. Such an attitude ruins family tranquillity and can lead not only to a split with your partner but also with your children. You should treat all your family members in such a way that all of them look forward to you to come home from work.
  13. Pay attention to the way you talk at home. Swear words, insults and shouting at each other will create a disturbing atmosphere which might hurt your children.
  14. Your parents have several rights which you should respect. Make sure your wife does not infringe on their rights.
  15. Introduce Sunnah to your family. Sunnah will bring Barakat and happiness to your family.
  16. A Muslim Husband must have balance. He should work and strive in his career to provide for his family as it is a haqq/right of the wife to be provided for (even if she chooses to work). He also must understand the fundamentals of his deen/religion. He doesn’t have to be a scholar, but he should at least know the basics.
  17. As a Muslim Husband, you should help with cooking dinners and preparing meals. This will alleviate some of the load off your wife and she will be very thankful you assisted.
  18. Treat her with respect & Care: Remember Allah said that your wife is made out of your rib, which is very close to the heart. This means that she is not meant to be oppressed or subjugated or harassed. Have you ever tried to harass your organs closer to heart?
  19. Refrain from insulting your wife: Never insult your wife, degrade her or make fun of her in front of others. Nor should you ever tell about her weakness to others. She is not your slave or servant, rather she is your partner of life. So treat her that way!
  20. Give time to your wife: Irrespective of how busy you are, take out time for your wife. Spend time with her, take her out, talk to her and listen to her. Keep one day of the week dedicated to your wife, like Sunday, and let her know that you dedicated it especially for her. This makes her feel special in your eyes.
  21. Listen to her attentively: A good husband is always a good listener. Listen to everything that your wife talks about and try to indulge in the conversation. Don’t give a deaf ear to your wife. How would you feel if someone gives a deaf ear to you when you speak? Trust me, it is annoying. So stop doing this to your wife and start listening to her attentively.
  22. Consulting others on mutual consent: A good husband always takes the permission of his wife before consulting on their marital problems with others. A woman feels much more comfortable if it is discussed with someone she can trust. So make sure you take her consent.
  23. Applaud your wife: A good husband always encourages her wife in everything she does. Encouraging a woman in every task makes her perfect. For example, a wife might not cook well. But if she is trying hard to learn, a good husband would praise her cooking and effort thus encouraging her to become perfect in it.
  24. Forbidden to hate: It is Haraam (forbidden) to hate your believing wife. Allah’s Messenger :saw: said “A believing man must not hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her characteristics he will be pleased with another (of her good qualities).” No human is perfect. Your wife might have some qualities that are displeasing to you, but there are surely some characteristics that are very pleasing to you. Prophet :saw: commanded us to look for those good characteristics in her.
  25. Handle her with care: Woman is fragile both physically and mentally, hence handle her with Care!

وَإِلَىٰ ثَمُودَ أَخَاهُمْ صَالِحًا قَالَ يَا قَوْمِ اعْبُدُوا اللَّهَ مَا لَكُم مِّنْ إِلَٰهٍ غَيْرُهُ هُوَ أَنشَأَكُم مِّنَ الْأَرْضِ وَاسْتَعْمَرَكُمْ فِيهَا فَاسْتَغْفِرُوهُ ثُمَّ تُوبُوا إِلَيْهِ إِنَّ رَبِّي قَرِيبٌ مُّجِيبٌ

 

“And to Thamud (We sent) their brother Salih. He said, “O my people! Worship Allah, not you have any god other than Him. He produced you from the earth and settled you in it. So ask forgiveness of Him, then turn in repentance to Him. Indeed, my Lord (is) near, All-Responsive.” (Surah Hud 11:61)

 

Becoming an ideal Muslim husband will certainly not be easy. It will take a jihad against ‘jahiliyyah” thinking, selfishness, ego, vanity, anger, pride, and arrogance. An ideal husband is a husband who is friends with his wife. He is supposed to make time for her and play with her. Spending time with your wife doing what she likes is a form of worship.

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